IF the Premier League was ordered according to artistic merit, Liverpool's current lack of invention and creativity would see them languishing at the wrong end of the table instead of the top. Impotent in attack and all but sterile on the flanks, they are presently about as expressive as a teenager when asked about their day at school.

There's more entertainment in those couple of lines by Tony Barrett than all off Liverpool's games so far this season.

"He's funny, doesn't mind telling people to f*** off, and he even votes Labour. I love him."

Jamie Carragher clearly has a soft spot for Alex Ferguson

There's definitely too many foreigners in the game. What's the point of spending all this money on the academies if we're not pushing local kids through? Liverpool FC is our club. It's a big part of our city and you've got to give young Scousers with aspirations the chance to succeed.

Carragher again

“He also had offers from other English clubs but he said no to them because he wanted to come and play for us. That means a lot to me because it shows the commitment he has to play for Liverpool.”

We liked him because he effed off Everton, is what Rafael Benitez meant to say.

To play in front of the red crowd, every minute has been a privilege. Even after my unfortunate own goal against Chelsea in the Champions League semi last April - where all our dreams were crushed - I felt the support and sympathies from you as real and important.

John Arne Riise probably doesn't visit too many Liverpool forums, does he?

I know I will have to work very hard to get into the team because there are a lot of good players here but that is a challenge I am looking forward to.

New signing Albert Rieira obviously hasn't seen Liverpool play lately.

Florent Sinama Pongolle on his reaction to the Champions League draw

“When there are 95 registered Brazilian players in the Champions League, 94 French players and 45 Englishmen, then it is difficult. If you lose with the national team, that is the soul of the game… When I was with Juventus and we played against Arsenal you had 10 or 11 English players. OK, Europe is open now, but you need to take care. If you are Manchester United you need to have some players from Manchester. Football is beautiful and popularity brings money, but then people want to make more money, not because it is a game but because it is a product. I need to protect the game and say to people this is not a good way. My philosophy is to protect the identity of the clubs and the country. I like Arsène Wenger, I like Sir Alex Ferguson, I like their players and they do what is best for the clubs, but it is not my philosophy.”

He might not particularly like Liverpool but Michel Platini is right on this one.

"If we are talking about spending money then maybe Manchester City will win the title this year.

Rafael Benitez is afraid of Manchester City.

I am not worried about this. We are really pleased with our signings. We can sign players like Skrtel, Mascherano and Agger who people didn't know about before, but they certainly do now. You will make mistakes but we are trying to progress and, as I said you have to take gambles sometimes. We have a good scouting department and we know about a lot of players in the market.

...or maybe he's not

Back when Manchester City weren't trying to sign up every top player under the sun, Benayoun was on their radar, and they tabled a £6m bid in an attempt to beat off competition from Tottenham and West Ham. Despite needing the cash to fund his now defunct move for Garth Barry, Benitez rejected the offer, and that show of support played a big part in Benayoun's decision to turn down Spartak.

Now go prove to Rafa that he made the right choice, Yossi